Doomed to Fail by J. J. Anselmi

Author:J. J. Anselmi [Anselmi, J. J.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Rare Bird Books
Published: 2020-02-10T16:00:00+00:00

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing to recommend Kirk Windstein, founder and chief of NOLA sludge forerunners, Crowbar, for the position of Riff Master General. Mr. Windstein was among New Orleans’s first purveyors of sludge, which is to say he was one of the first purveyors of sludge, period. From Shell Shock and The Slugs to Down and, of course, Crowbar, Mr. Windstein has orchestrated hundreds of perfect riffs—the ones that buckle knees. His riffs are written with the structural integrity of the most enduring architecture. They’ll stand up for as long as humans are around.

Before Crowbar, Windstein played in Victorian Blitz, covering heavy metal classics by the likes of WASP and Judas Priest. Not long thereafter, he joined a crossover thrash band called Shell Shock, wedding the primitive attack of Cro-Mags with the blistering speed of Slayer. Jimmy Bower played drums—so yeah, it was good. In 1988, the band’s singer, Mike Hatch, committed suicide. He was one of Windstein’s best friends. Windstein immediately channeled that pain into music, holding band practice the day after Hatch’s funeral. When faced with crushing pain, Mr. Windstein uses it as the impetus to write riffs of great emotional weight. He knows that we live in a heavy world that demands equally heavy music.

After Hatch died, Shell Shock became After Shock with Kevin Noonan taking on vocal duties. The band went through a few more name changes, first to Wrequiem and then to The Slugs, enlisting Todd Strange on bass after Mike Savoie left. The Slugs fell apart fairly quickly, but the people at Grind Core Records didn’t know that when they called Mr. Windstein to sign his band. He hurriedly formed a new band with Noonan on lead guitar, the mighty Craig Nunenmacher on drums, and Strange on bass, handling vocals and guitar himself. They called it Crowbar. Listening to Crowbar is like getting bludgeoned by an unwieldy piece of steel, so the moniker is one of those rare examples of a band’s name perfectly matching its sound. Having existed in several different iterations since then—always with Windstein at the helm—Crowbar has been unleashing formidable albums for nearly thirty years. As with Wino, Mr. Windstein is one of those people who will be writing badass riffs until there’s no air left in his lungs.

Crowbar embarked on multiple tours with Pantera throughout the nineties. Fans of that band will recognize Mr. Windstein from his appearances in Pantera’s sophisticated video productions, Vulgar Videos (From Hell), aka The Home Videos. Pantera did not fuck around when it came to partying. Windstein fit right in. During those tours, he’d run around in full Hulk regalia for shits and giggles. He was also known to paint his face like Peter Criss of Kiss and run around, holding his hands up like claws and hissing. Cocaine was involved. Windstein and Crowbar also gained notoriety from their appearances on Beavis and Butthead. Videos for “Existence is Punishment” and “All I Had (I Gave),” both from the bridge-buckling Crowbar LP (1993), aired on the show as its protagonists provided such insight as, “This music is slow and fat.

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